Marvel vs DC: the Dudebro analogy
- me: It's sad how progressive Marvel looks while standing next to DC. It's completely amazing.
- Kara: which is kind of awful too because Marvel needs help too Marvel needs help DC needs to be in an institution? is that fair?
- me: Marvel is a middle class, middle America white dude who's been pulled from his suburban all-white high school to go to college with a bunch of people who are different than him.
- Kara: ooooh
- me: He's that dick who goes to the women's studies class to 'meet chicks,' and calls everyone bro, and doesn't really GET why his Cinco De Mayo party is really, really kinda racist. But he talks to people who don't look exactly like him and when he's told that he's being a dick he mostly listens and sure he's still got Maxim covers up on his wall, but now he can talk to girls without trying to hit on them.
- me: DC's the guy who went to the college of people JUST LIKE HIM and entered a frat and hangs out on /bchan and takes pictures of girls who are drunk and falling out of their shirts without their knowledge and text them to everyone he knows, even the girls who are kind of like, ugh.
- Kara: this is really perfect
- me: So Marvel has figured out that if he wants to get a date, or more importantly, a second date, he needs to start dealing with women and other people as human beings and he's not perfect and he's still gonna get dumped when he mutters a vaguely homophobic epithet at the waiter at a restaurant, but he's listening in classes and his roommate's cool and they become friends even though they're different races and eventually he ends up in a suite where half his roommates are women who explain that the "make me a sandwich" shirt is the reason he's NOT GETTING LAID. And he stops wearing that shirt, except when he's really drunk and stupid.
- me: Meanwhile, DC is on facebook, telling boob jokes and then bitterly calling women bitches for not having sex with him and going back to hang out at the local high school football games despite the fact that it gets sadder every year, because everyone who used to like him has grown up and moved out and moved away and he's still there, still talking to teenagers, except he doesn't know the lingo and they're not interested in what he has to say.